all in a maybe

There was hope til you said maybe
dreams until he was a possibility
now my sanity dangles on his lips
tired of waiting, praying, waking to
find a memory is all I have
didn't dare to think
pushed until IT couldn't hurt
and IT couldn't control
IT wasn't me wasn't mine wasn't
the pain that has me hitched breath clutching
at an hourglass using a hoover to pull at the grains
which have taken root
leaves us to believe love is a salt strewn field
hope is a leaking cistern
and a maybe is swaying dead in the wind